Looking for accountability

I'm not new to blogging, but I needed to start a simple one in hopes of connecting with others that are on a similar journey that I'm on....weight loss. Well, not sure if its weight loss or gaining some muscle and being healthier. The reason I say that is because actually loosing fat has been the hardest I've had to endure based on so much against my goal. 

My enemies:

1 - chronic hypothyroidism - weakens metabolism and encourages weight gain

2 - adrenal fatigue - creates a lot of stress and fatigue

3 - sensitive heart rate - cardio workouts are next to impossible when I can go over 200bpm in 10 minutes. I have to stay at low impact (boring)

4 - sensitive to stress - the 3 factors above, plus anxiety, increase the stress and increase a lot of weight around the midsection

5 - emotional eating urges

6 - financial struggles to keep from buying healthy food - seems like the wealthy can only eat right

7 - easily persuaded to pig out by my husband or friends - can't say no and don't want to

8 - I hate vegetables - eating yucky food makes me so sad

9 - I forget to drink water - I guess I lack the feeling of thirsty?

So that sums it up. I want to conquer these hurdles and not be able to use them as an excuse anymore.

For the past 15 years, I've tried so many diets, pills, workout plans, lifestyle changes to no avail. I had some phases where I had success for a little while, followed by gain back to the starting line again. I've read so much over the years to know its all information overload at this point. Experts contradict each other and it all became so confusing and disappointing that I let myself go. Now I'm back at the biggest I've ever been, in 2003 - need to loose 40 lbs.

At 34, I do not have any children, but my husband and I have been trying since February (6 months of TTC so far). Maybe my weight is why we haven't conceived. And that's how long I've been trying back at loosing weight in order to be healthy for a pregnancy. And in the past 6 months, I've started and stopped workout plans, started and stopped diets. I would eat healthy for a few days and ruin it the next day. I would try to workout every day and I'd only make it a week. Why? The disappointing results. I know it takes a long time, but working out stresses my body and if I workout a week solid, the scale will show a 4lb gain! I know I should stick with it anyway, but that gain tells me, "why bother?!" I could do well on eating good, but an example, a few days ago, my husband wants ice cream and I couldn't turn down a huge Blizzard. Then I get so down on myself. I'm terrible at counting calories and WW points. So maybe if I wrote a weight loss journey blog, Thinking that I have readers may keep me accountable. I'll post about my ups and downs, my success and failures, my strengths and weaknesses. And I would like to find other similar blogs to inspire me and to lift up the author as well.

I'll have the hubby take my embarrassing before photos and measurements tomorrow.